There is a common misconception that women can bulk up with weight training. Women don’t have the same testosterone levels as men and by virtue of that, bulking up is not something that would just accidentally happen. As a natural athlete (meaning I use no pharmacological aids), I had to work for years intentionally doing high-intensity, high-volume training to build the muscle that I have. The average woman need not worry about bulking up with resistance training. Unless you are doing a specific type of training that is geared toward adding significant amounts of muscle mass, you are not going to find that bulking up is an issue.

To get the toned and lean body that you desire, I recommend weight training with an amount of weight that allows you to fatigue by 8 to 10 repetitions in any given set, for any given exercise. If that seems too heavy, then select a weight with which you can do 10-12 repetitions per set. A set is merely a group of repetitions, and by the end of any given set you should feel like you cannot continue with proper form. In other words, by the end of any given set, you should be fatigued to the point that you cannot continue without "cheating."

Train your entire body, both upper and lower. If you absolutely don’t know how to get started, it may be worth purchasing several sessions with a personal trainer that can teach you proper form and how to create a balanced workout. It is worth the extra money to ensure your safety in the long run.

Most gyms also offer a wide variety of conditioning classes if you are not weight room savvy. For you gals that don’t like the idea of lifting weights, keep in mind that any kind of resistance training will do. You can use a wide variety of items including bands and tubing, medicine balls, your own body weight, ankle weights, etc., to get the job done. Your body does not register whether you are using a dumbbell or a resistant band; your body will only register that it is working against resistance and your muscles and bones will thank you for it!

Keep in mind that "toning" muscle is building muscle. By saying that you don’t want to bulk up, you are simply stating that you are not interested in doing high-intensity, high-volume training that will yield a heightened degree of muscle growth, also known as muscle hypertrophy. When you tone your muscles, there inherently will be muscle growth or hypertrophy, but you are saying that it is the degree of muscle growth that is your concern. Again, you will not accidentally bulk up, so rest easy.

Also remember that weight/resistance training is an excellent way to build bone density, which should be a concern for all women. Osteoporosis can creep up on you over time, and it is better to be proactive and engage in weight bearing activities that preserve the muscle you have and in some cases, increase your muscle mass. Trained muscles are useful muscles; all around, adding weight/resistance training to your program is a great idea!

Good luck! —TMS

I love this question because it is the number one question that I am asked as a trainer. My short answer is, don’t rely on motivation in the first place. Motivation is based on feelings and our feelings tend to fluctuate. You are correct that your enthusiasm will eventually wane, especially when it dawns on you that you have to make a lifelong commitment and carry on forever (ugh!#$%*!)

To keep yourself on track and move toward achieving your goals, devise a plan and stick to it. I know that you are thinking that this is exactly the problem: that you make a plan and then don’t stay motivated long enough to stay the course.

Again, this is because until now you relied on feeling motivated. I am saying that you are no longer going to rely on your feelings to continue your plan. You have to think of it like this: all of us do things everyday that we don’t want to do, but we do them because the result is what we want. I don’t clean my toilet because I love cleaning toilets; I clean my toilet because I want my bathroom to be sanitary. I don’t wash dishes because I get a kick out of washing dishes; I wash dishes because the pile in the sink gets really big if I don’t. I don’t feel like getting up at the crack of dawn to train my clients, but when I go to the grocery store they expect me to give them money in exchange for the food I take, so I need to earn some!

At some point we have to grow up and realize that in life there are things that we have to do in order to get a desired result whether or not we feel like it—period. Successful people are willing to do things that unsuccessful people just won’t do.

Set specific, measurable, attainable goals and then design a plan to achieve those goals. Be very specific when you set your main goal, and then break it down into smaller goals that will get you to your finish line. If you do not set smaller goals along the way you can end up feeling overwhelmed, and you will quit altogether.

On days that you absolutely don’t feel like exercising, make a deal with yourself that you will do an abbreviated workout. I do this myself, and ten times out of ten once I get in the groove, my mood changes and I complete my entire workout. Sometimes for psychological reasons I need to give myself permission to shorten my workout just to get myself to the gym. Once I’m there, I always change my mind and give it my all.

Another great trick to is have someone with whom you workout so that you are accountable to another person. Just knowing that you made a commitment to a friend to walk, jog, take a class, or lift weights is enough to get yourself out the door.

A final idea that has always worked for me is to keep records of my daily workouts. I buy a regular calendar that has one week on two pages so there is plenty of space to write the details of my workout each day. For instance, I may write something as simple as "chest and triceps," on Monday. On Tuesday, "back, biceps, and medial deltoids." Wednesday may read, "abs, hamstring curls, leg presses, lunges, and squats." (I break up my leg routine into two separate days, so I always record which of the exercises in the routine I do on either of the two days.)

Keeping workout records is a great way to be accountable to the person that matters the most in all of this, you.

It not only helps you decide what you need to do on the other days of the week, but it is also very gratifying to write down your day to day accomplishments and see them add up.

As one of my favorite sayings goes, "if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail." To review, set your main goal; break it up into smaller goals; create your plan, and stick to the plan no matter how you feel about exercising on any given day. If you don’t rely on feeling motivated in the first place, you need not worry about staying motivated to complete your mission. Now put on your sneakers and get to the gym!

–TMS